Now and then things go bad
Despite a perfect operation
Something bleeds. The heart is sad
There’s some unexpected complication
But there’s a solution. Yes, I am sure
There is always a cure

Blame anesthesia
When things don’t go well
Blame anesthesia
When wounds start to smell
They’re always in scrubs
And play with their tubes
They fiddle with drugs
And mess with their lubes
Blame anesthesia
When everything goes to hell

You can also blame the OR nurse
For her poor hygiene
Or blame the intern, that always works
But I suggest this routine:
When things go wrong. Don’t even flinch
Point at the one with the syringe

Blame anesthesia
When the shit hits the fan
Blame anesthesia
A universal plan
They play with their cables
And their machines
They fiddle with their needles
Full of morphine
Blame anesthesia
From Sweden to Japan

A patient in coma
Not your fault
Is there a pneumonia?
Not your fault
Is there a bleeding?
Not your fault
Is there no healing?
Not your fault

A post-op infection
Not your fault
Aortic dissection
Not your fault
A bad inflammation
Not your fault
Any complication
Not your fault

If there is pus
You know what to do
You missed the bus
You know what to do
You hit your head
You know what to do
Michael Jackson is dead
You know what to do

Blame anesthesia
When things are going south
Shame anesthesia
When the lawyers open their mouths
An emphysema
A patient in pain
A massive oedema
Or if it rains
Blame anesthesia
And everything is fine

But if everything goes well:
Congratulations! You are swell!