Something is wrong
I can feel it
It is getting worse
By the minute
I have met twenty specialists
And I am not a pessimist
But they just don’t believe it
Please, and I mean it
Can someone just reveal it

Give me a diagnosis
It may be bad
Just give me a reason
And I’ll be glad
I don’t need any medicine
I don’t need a spell
But give me a diagnosis
And I’ll be well

If I was an ancient greek
To sad to smile
They’d say I was weak
With too much black bile
Two hundred years ago in Paris
They had mesmerism
They would say that I lacked
Animal magnetism

In the eighteen hundreds
I would have neurasthenia
Sigmund Freud would have said:
”Probably hysteria”
And if I was a housewife
In the sixties in the US
I would take valium
Because of too much stress

Give me a diagnosis
I am not okay
I’ll agree with everything
Everything you say
Hand me a disease
An illness that is mine
Give me a diagnosis
And I’ll be fine

The chiropractor told me
The problem was my spine
The crystal healer made me feel her
Aura as a sign
The homeopath was fast
And sold me a dilution
And the Reiki healer said the chakra
Was the solution

Give me a diagnosis
So that they will see
Low-grade inflammation
Or some deficiency
You can give me anything
But just not a neurosis
No one understands me
Without a diagnosis

Give me a diagnosis
I don’t care what it is
I just want to know
What it is I miss
Incorrect osmosis
Faulty DNA
Give me a diagnosis
And I will be okay