Text Message From the ER

from Medical Melodies and Surgical Songs by Henrik Widegren

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lyrics

Music: Amilcare Ponchielli (La Gioconda)
Lyrics: Henrik Widegren

Dearest mother, let me text you
I was bothered when I was next to
This fella in a sports bar
And then I spent the night at the ER

The nurse said: You’re next in line
In a minute you will be fine
But a bus crash created chaos
And nothing happened to me for eight hours

My first doctor smelled like garlic
But the second: Alcoholic
Disinfectant? Maybe yes
But should you have a disinfectant breath?

Then they had to run some blood tests
A young student did her very best
She worked her needle for 30 minutes
So now my arm has many holes in it

Then they sent me on a CAT scan
But that wasn’t a very good plan
Got a serious contrast reaction
But I felt better after intubation

But ICU was a problema
Cause they thought I was in coma
They took my kidney, but I was blessed
I woke up so they didn’t take the rest

But alas! I got sepsis
And of course endocarditis
Of multiresistant Staph Aureus
So I got new valves and I feel glorious

Was intubated in September
When I woke up in November
I was in pain and got a pill
Of course I choked and I went very still

Someone did a Heimlich’s maneuver
But the pill, it went nowhere
I turned blue and saw my life in slow-mo
So quickly, they put me in an ECMO

Woke up with soap in my groin
Because a nurse cleaned my loins
I was high and she was Venus
We were married two days after Christmas

Now I’m in rehab. I like my life
I’ve got a new valve and a wife
And I don’t miss my other kidney
It’s inside a lucky guy who lives in Sydney

So, dearest mother, this is the last verse
But I’m happy it didn’t get worse
If you remember, I was battered
But I was lucky, cause my nose wasn’t fractured

credits

from Medical Melodies and Surgical Songs, released April 1, 2019

license

about

Henrik Widegren Sweden

"There are a thousand songs about love, but none about the bowel"

Henrik Widegren is a medical doctor who started writing geeky songs about medicine, healthcare and science when asked to perform at a hospital after work in 2012.

Now he has released six studio albums and has a YouTube channel (Henrik Widegren) with music videos. The latest album, Doctor Feelgood, was released September 18. ... more