Free Cosmetic Surgery

from Doctor Feelgood by Henrik Widegren

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lyrics

Free Cosmetic Surgery

Music, lyrics: Henrik Widegren

The minister of health was depressed
Thought everything was dreary, dull and grey
And although she did her very best
Nobody looked at it that way
So she thought: What do voters want?
To be happy and beautiful and free
She suddenly had a brilliant idea
We will offer free cosmetic surgery

Nip a little here, tuck a little there
Reduction and suction. A fill and a lift
Just a little bit, so your ass won’t quit
Tummies and hips. Noses and lips
We’ll open the door to rich and to poor
We’ll give you a fill, won’t bother to bill
Feeling depressed? Go lift your breasts
Cosmetic surgery will be free!

So all the sick were kicked out
The doctors really needed lots of space
For the poor who wanted to replace
Every faulty feature in their face
And they planned a big, new department
Almost like a small institute
An ER open twenty-four seven
To patients with ugliness acute

Nip a little here, tuck a little there
Reduction and suction. A fill and a lift
Just a little bit, so your ass won’t quit
Tummies and hips. Noses and lips
We’ll fix you in blink. It’s better than a shrink
“With my little laser, I can fix your face, sir”
No happy pill can beat a dermal fill
Cosmetic surgery will be free!

Now they had to open new clinics
And GDP rose by one hundred percent
There did not seem to be any limits
They got a visit from the president
Surgeons flew in from every country
Not a single one left in Hollywood
The bars started to empty
Cause no one had to drink to look good

But one day, everyone was good looking
Not a single, ugly person in the land
All the new clinics were closing
The surgeons had to leave their wonderland
So the minister had to do something
She introduced a new and sexy trend
Being really ugly is the new thing
And so everyone had surgery again

Nip a little here, tuck a little there
Reduction and suction. A fill and a lift
Just a little bit, so your ass won’t quit
Tummies and hips. Noses and lips
If you lift your ass we’ll offer you a glass
Of champagne. It’s okay to be vain
Come with your breasts and we’ll have a fest
Cosmetic surgery will be free!

credits

from Doctor Feelgood, released September 18, 2020

license

about

Henrik Widegren Sweden

"There are a thousand songs about love, but none about the bowel"

Henrik Widegren is a medical doctor who started writing geeky songs about medicine, healthcare and science when asked to perform at a hospital after work in 2012.

Now he has released six studio albums and has a YouTube channel (Henrik Widegren) with music videos. The latest album, Doctor Feelgood, was released September 18. ... more