1. |
Placebo
04:22
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Placebo
Music, lyrics: Henrik Widegren
Say that you believe in me
And I'll believe it too
Say that this will work out
And it will do
Say that I can fly
And I’ll grow wings of steel
Say that you will surely cure me
And I will heal
Placebo. I feel so
Good when I take your placebo
Placebo. And we know
It works when I’m on placebo
It is cheap and I have checked
Not a single side effect
Placebo. We’ll go
And buy a kilo of placebo
Doctor, say that I’ll be fine
And my fever’s gone
Say that I’m a healthy guy
And I’ll move on
Say that this is medicine
Even though it is gin
You just fake it. I will take it
It is no sin
Placebo. I feel so
Good when I get your placebo
Placebo. And we know
It works when I’m on placebo
Some say it’s unethical
I say it is magical
Placebo. We go
And buy a kilo of placebo
But when you sigh: This isn’t going well
I trust you and I think I’ll end up in hell
I feel ill. I feel depressed. I am wrecked
I suffer from your nocebo effect
And I know, I know, I know…
What I want
Placebo. I feel so
Good when I get your placebo
Placebo. And we know
It works when I’m on placebo
They say it’s only sugar pills
I say it will cure my ills
Placebo. We go
And buy a kilo of placebo
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2. |
I Give You My DNA
03:02
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I look in the mirror
Mirror on the wall
The usual view
But is that really all?
I am much more
Than I can see
I want to know
What’s hidden in me
I go online
To a site with a dude
Who will give me the truth
If I spit in a tube
I give you my DNA
And you give me away
I send all my genes
You say what they mean
Take all of my DNA
I have plenty of it anyway
Genes never lie
Who am I?
And while I am waiting
I start having dreams
Of the big secrets
Deep down in my genes
Will I get freckles?
How many percent
Of my DNA
Are from Tashkent?
Do I hate cilantro?
Am I part Neanderthal?
Do I like sweet or salty?
Am I related the Tsar?
Chorus
But then I get the e-mail
This was not the plan
I discover that my father
Is another man
When I read on
I grow weak and I slump
Down on the floor
My dad is Donald Trump
Chorus
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3. |
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You won’t know you are stupid
If you’re stupid enough
You won’t know you’re no good
If you are a bluff
When you don’t know what you’re thinking
It’s easy to be tough
You don’t know what you are missing
If you don’t know your stuff
You can’t know your incorrect
You won’t know that you’re inept
It is hard to self-percept
When you don’t know what to expect
What is this brain defect?
The Dunning-Kruger effect
//: Dunning-Kruger effect. Oh-la-la-la ://
When he was arrested
He said: ”But I wore the juice”
And he was flabbergasted
I read in the news
Yes, he wore the lemon juice
So how’d they found a way?
How did they see his face?
Now he’s locked away
When you lack competence
You can gain confidence
Cause your incompetence
Causes this consequence
Why this lack of intellect?
The Dunning-Kruger effect
//: Dunning-Kruger effect. Oh-la-la-la ://
//: He wore the juice
The lemon juice
How was there a way
To see his face
To see his face
Now he’s locked away ://
When you’re not all that smart
Not exactly off the charts
It is normal that you start
To think with your heart
That you’re state of the art
Perhaps a new Descartes
A warrior taking part
In intellectual martial art
But you really should suspect
The Dunning-Kruger effect
//: Dunning-Kruger effect. Oh-la-la-la ://
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4. |
Chemistry of Love
04:12
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What is happening to me?
I have a fever
But at the same time
I feel fine
I am a scientist
Not a believer
Why do I feel like
I’ve been drinking wine
According to my medical history
It started when I met Miss Marie
I must dig deep in my chart
What is happening in my heart?
It’s the chemistry of love
It is sent from above
It’s a gift from the brain
It is running through my veins now so
Itty-bitty pretty peptides
I want to have a lot of
Nice neurotransmitters
It’s the chemistry of love
Dopamine is released
By my neurons
It makes me happy
Makes me feel good
Norepinephrine
Is another hormone
It makes me tremble, blush and sweat
More than I should
But my serotonin is slowly heading down
Making me focus on only the one
Oxytocin is released when we caress
And the sex hormones make us want to undress
It’s the chemistry of love (The chemistry of love)
It is sent from above (Central nervous system)
It’s a gift from the brain (The ventral tegmental area)
It is running through my veins (The arteries and veins)
Itty-bitty pretty peptides (Small, small proteins)
I want to have a lot of (High concentrations)
Nice neurotransmitters (Connecting to receptors)
It’s the chemistry of love (Pure love)
But there is a catch, a love limitation
Unlike the stars up above
Receptors are prone to down-regulation
You can’t be forever in love
It’s the chemistry of love (Oh baby, it’s love)
It is sent from above (Straight from heaven)
It’s a gift from the brain (The muscle of love)
It is running through my veins (It’s pumping, it’s pumping)
Itty-bitty pretty peptides (The size doesn’t matter)
I want to have a lot of (Give me. I can take it)
Nice neurotransmitters (Those sexy synapses)
It’s the chemistry of love (It’s true love)
Chemistry of love. Sent from above. Running through my veins (Love juice in the system)
Chemistry of love. Sent from above (Those marvellous molecules)
Chemistry of love. Sent from above. Running through my veins (Marie, you are toxic)
Chemistry of love. Sent from above (And I love it)
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5. |
Doctor Death
03:39
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They call me Doctor Death
I have done much wrong
And I will go to jail
Listen to my song
It started on a rainy day
The test of my vocation
A rude and angry patient
Demanded an operation
He wanted to be first in line
Even though it was benign
I thought: What the heck
And wrapped my stethoscope around his neck
They call me Doctor Death
I have done much wrong
And I will go to jail
Listen to my song
And he will go to jail
Listen to his song
A man with a beaten wife
Claimed she walked into a door
A scalpel is a knife
And he was no more
A lady with a cold
Demanded penicillin
I gave her something killing
But her germs are still living
To the ER came this guy:
”I have googled, and it’s true
I may have psoriasis”
Now he’s in ICU
They call me Doctor Death
I have done much wrong
And I will go to jail
Listen to my song
And he will go to jail
Listen to his song
Then a pushy patient
Said he’d call his lawyer
I helped him out the door
He tripped in the foyer
Twelve times in the foyer
A man with a small blister
Yelled and ordered morphine
I said: ”Of course mister”
He got i.v. gasoline
At a nice and fancy dinner
This lady said: ”You’re a doctor!
Could you please check my hemorrhoids?”
”Of course”. Then I shot her
They call me Doctor Death
I have done much wrong
And I will go to jail
Listen to my song
They call me Doctor Death
I have done much wrong
And I will go to jail
Listen to my song
And he will go to jail
Listen to his song
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6. |
I Look Good in X-Ray
03:29
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You wake up by my side
Last night was magical
In the darkness of the night
Nothing was logical
I hear the birds in the tree
In comes the sun
You turn around and look at me
Your smile is gone
I’m not a man for Instagram
But please, don’t run away
Baby, baby, listen to
What I have to say
I look good in x-ray
In x-ray I look nice
Use any other camera
And I need a disguise
I look good in x-ray
In x-ray I look good
But on other pictures
I should wear a hood
I know it sounds like
The worst pickup routine
But come with me to my lab
And you’ll see what I mean
I’ll show you pictures with no filters
Made of long gamma rays
They are all in black and white
They’re fifty shades of gray
Then when you have seen me
You can decide
The most important things are
All on the inside
I look good in x-ray
In x-ray I am cute
In normal daylight
I am a brute
I look good in x-ray
In x-ray I am sweet
But I don’t need a mask
To trick or treat
Look and you will see
Radiology
Is certainly for me
Like plastic surgery
If you saw that my humerus
Is very far from tumorous
Our kisses would be numerous
And you’d lend me your uterus
I look good in x-ray
In x-ray I am fine
If you had seen my spine
You would be mine
I look good in x-ray
In x-ray I am hot
With any other camera
I am not
I look good in x-ray
I am beautiful
My tibia is lovely
And so is my skull
I look good in x-ray
I am fabulous
My clavicle is sexy
And so is my gluteus
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7. |
Give Me a Diagnosis
03:45
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Something is wrong
I can feel it
It is getting worse
By the minute
I have met twenty specialists
And I am not a pessimist
But they just don’t believe it
Please, and I mean it
Can someone just reveal it
Give me a diagnosis
It may be bad
Just give me a reason
And I’ll be glad
I don’t need any medicine
I don’t need a spell
But give me a diagnosis
And I’ll be well
If I was an ancient greek
To sad to smile
They’d say I was weak
With too much black bile
Two hundred years ago in Paris
They had mesmerism
They would say that I lacked
Animal magnetism
In the eighteen hundreds
I would have neurasthenia
Sigmund Freud would have said:
”Probably hysteria”
And if I was a housewife
In the sixties in the US
I would take valium
Because of too much stress
Give me a diagnosis
I am not okay
I’ll agree with everything
Everything you say
Hand me a disease
An illness that is mine
Give me a diagnosis
And I’ll be fine
The chiropractor told me
The problem was my spine
The crystal healer made me feel her
Aura as a sign
The homeopath was fast
And sold me a dilution
And the Reiki healer said the chakra
Was the solution
Give me a diagnosis
So that they will see
Low-grade inflammation
Or some deficiency
You can give me anything
But just not a neurosis
No one understands me
Without a diagnosis
Give me a diagnosis
I don’t care what it is
I just want to know
What it is I miss
Incorrect osmosis
Faulty DNA
Give me a diagnosis
And I will be okay
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8. |
CRP Is Less than 5
04:40
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We live in a world that’s uncertain
We take a chance and we pray
The reaper is always lurking
We increase our odds every way
An assessment is like a butterfly
It lives only one day
Nothing is black, nothing is white
Everything is gray
But when CRP is less than five
There is light
CRP is less than five
A beacon in the night
No one will die today
The nearest grave is far away
When CRP is less than five
It will go away
Symptoms flutter in the wind
Nothing is like in the books
Zebras mingle with horses
Things aren’t always how they look
Soak your index finger
Where does the wind blow?
Take a drop of your blood
And you will know
CRP is less than five
There is light
CRP is less than five
A beacon in the night
A very welcome sign
A solid lifeline
When CRP is less than five
It will be fine
When CRP is less than five
There is light
CRP is less than five
A beacon in the night
A most welcome sight
Printed in black and white
CRP is less than five
When CRP is less than five
There is light
CRP is less than five
A beacon in the night
No one will die today
The nearest grave is far away
When CRP is less than five
It will go away
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9. |
You Are So Beautiful
03:21
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Once upon a time there was a cardiologist who fell in love and wrote a song to the conqueress of his heart. But a cardiologist doesn’t think of love in the same way as other people do. This is what he sang:
You are so beautiful
And so is your heart
Your valves and your ventricles
Are state of the art
Say you will marry me
And show me your ECG
I do not want sex
I want your QRS complex
But his friend, the surgeon, thought otherwise. He would have sung:
You are so beautiful
Please, be my bride
And I will open you
To see what’s inside
The things in your abdomen
I want to fondle them
Don’t be repelled
I’ll close the wound so well
Enter the psychiatrist. He considered his colleagues lousy poets:
You are so beautiful
Even though you’re my mother
I think like Oedipus
There is no other
And if you are blue
I’ll ECT you
Love you, I will
You are my happy pill
Now the anaesthesiologist woke up. But she had other ideas:
You are so beautiful
When you’re asleep
No, please do not think
That I’m a creep
You’re quiet and wonderful
When your pupils are small
Like Snow White, my bliss
I’ll wake you with a kiss
Finally, the neurosurgeon weighed in. He too held love in high esteem, albeit from a different angle:
I am so beautiful
But you’re also fine
If you are the lucky one
You can be mine
Show me your love for me
Let me do your craniotomy
My love is unflawed
You may call me God
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10. |
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Monday morning
I see the sun
The sky is blue
My blues are gone
I dance to work
I shine like gold
Finally
I’m in control
I’m in command. I am an alligator
I am your hospital administrator
DRG
Is what makes me free
It’s healthcare ABC
It’s the master key
DRG
Is the only way
To make doctors say:
Okay
It’s complicated
Hard to understand
So I always have
The upper hand
I have my doctors
On a leash
I’m in charge
Capisce?
Hippocrates oath is a byway
It’s my way or the highway
DRG
Is what makes me free
It’s healthcare ABC
It’s the master key
DRG
Is my only chance
To make doctors sing
And dance
No, I don’t make medical decisions
These are financial incisions
Doctor, do what you want, honey
But then you can forget my money
I am on the tower of power
As long as I get my DRG shower
DRG
DRG
Is what makes me free
It’s healthcare ABC
It’s my reason to be
DRG
Is my heart and soul
Budget rock and roll
I am in control
DRG
I make money talk
Rise, take up thy bed
And walk
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11. |
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Good night
And sleep well
Snoring can reach
One hundred decibels
How can he sleep
With the sound
Of a chainsaw
From his mouth
Mucosa vibrates
As tissues recline
You married a prince
You got a swine
The palate shakes
Silence is absent
And you want to break
God’s fifth commandment
Good night
And sleep tight
Don’t get mad
At your partner because when we sleep, the brain shuts off all auditory input that does not signal danger
So don’t pick a fight
But what then to do
With the love of your life
How do you solve
This nocturnal strife
Your love for your partner
is endless, like space
But picture a pillow
Pressed down on his face
Push hard and whisper:
”I love you”
He will stop fighting
When he turns blue
Good night
Pretend it rains
Tomorrow you’re rested
And hide his remains
Good night
Peaceful bliss
Give your darling one last kiss
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12. |
Blame Anesthesia
04:25
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Now and then things go bad
Despite a perfect operation
Something bleeds. The heart is sad
There’s some unexpected complication
But there’s a solution. Yes, I am sure
There is always a cure
Blame anesthesia
When things don’t go well
Blame anesthesia
When wounds start to smell
They’re always in scrubs
And play with their tubes
They fiddle with drugs
And mess with their lubes
Blame anesthesia
When everything goes to hell
You can also blame the OR nurse
For her poor hygiene
Or blame the intern, that always works
But I suggest this routine:
When things go wrong. Don’t even flinch
Point at the one with the syringe
Blame anesthesia
When the shit hits the fan
Blame anesthesia
A universal plan
They play with their cables
And their machines
They fiddle with their needles
Full of morphine
Blame anesthesia
From Sweden to Japan
A patient in coma
Not your fault
Is there a pneumonia?
Not your fault
Is there a bleeding?
Not your fault
Is there no healing?
Not your fault
A post-op infection
Not your fault
Aortic dissection
Not your fault
A bad inflammation
Not your fault
Any complication
Not your fault
If there is pus
You know what to do
You missed the bus
You know what to do
You hit your head
You know what to do
Michael Jackson is dead
You know what to do
Blame anesthesia
When things are going south
Shame anesthesia
When the lawyers open their mouths
An emphysema
A patient in pain
A massive oedema
Or if it rains
Blame anesthesia
And everything is fine
But if everything goes well:
Congratulations! You are swell!
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Henrik Widegren Sweden
"There are a thousand songs about love, but none about the bowel"
Henrik Widegren
is a medical doctor who started writing geeky songs about medicine, healthcare and science when asked to perform at a hospital after work in 2012.
Now he has released six studio albums and has a YouTube channel (Henrik Widegren) with music videos. The latest album, Doctor Feelgood, was released September 18.
... more
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